Dr. Thomas Gordon’s, Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) class is the pioneering program that has helped millions of parents around the world since 1962. We have classes offered by certified P.E.T. Instructors throughout the United States and in many different countries. We also now offer online P.E.T. book clubs–information can be found on this page.
There are many different parenting programs out there in the world. How do you decide which one is right for you? Here is a comparison of the most well-known programs out there–we hope you find it helpful. Perhaps P.E.T. is the right one for you. Please read on to learn more about what the program is all about. And you can also check out some videos from Dr. Gordon himself, P.E.T. Instructors and clients on our parenting channel on youtube.
Whether you’re the parent of a toddler or a teenager, you know that parenting can be challenging–even overwhelming at times. Unfortunately, children don’t come with an instruction manual. And, being a parent doesn’t always mean that you automatically or instinctively know what to do. Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) offers proven communication skills that really work. When they use these skills, parents are amazed with the dramatic improvement both in their families and in all their relationships. This program was created by award-winning psychologist and three-time Nobel Peace Prize Nominee, Dr. Thomas Gordon in 1962.
You, too, can learn these communication and conflict resolution skills through Dr. Gordon’s P.E.T. program, taught by a certified P.E.T. Instructor. After participation in the P.E.T. course, it is expected that parents will have the ability to:
- Understand the Behavior Window.
- Distinguish between Acceptable and Unacceptable Behavior.
- Determine who “own the problem” in a given situation.
- Recognize when their child needs their help as a skilled listener.
- Identify the 12 Roadblocks to Communication.
- Avoid the Roadblocks that cause most helping attempts to fail.
- Use silence, acknowledgments and door-openers to help their child with a problem.
- Active Listen to hear their child’s feelings.
- Active Listen to clarify information.
- Acknowledge others’ efforts with Appreciative I-Messages.
- Prevent problems and conflicts using Preventive I-Messages.
- Modify the environment to prevent problems and conflicts.
- Determine what to do when a child’s behavior is interfering with the parent’s meeting their needs.
- Develop a three-part Confrontive I-Message.
- Confront their child’s unacceptable behavior with an I-Message.
- Shift gears between I-Messages and Active Listening when appropriate.
- Recognize conflict situations.
- Avoid the use of Method I and Method II.
- Set the stage for Method III Conflict Resolution.
- Use Method III to resolve a conflict between the parent and child.
- Use Method III to mediate a conflict between others.
- Distinguish between Conflicts-of-Needs and Values Collisions.
- Handle Values Collisions.
- Be able to use the Behavior Window to identify problem ownership and the appropriate skill/s needs to solve the problem.
How You and Your Family Will Benefit
- Your children will feel free to discuss their problems and concerns with you instead of withdrawing.
- They will learn self-discipline, self-control and an inner sense of personal responsibility.
- You will learn how to work with each other instead of against each other.
- You’ll experience fewer angry outbursts and more problem-solving.
- Everyone can participate in rule-setting so all will feel motivated to comply with the rules.
- Fewer power struggles–less tension, less resentment, more fun, more peace, more love.
What You Will Learn
- How to talk to your children so that they will listen to you.
- How to listen to your children so they feel genuinely understood.
- How to resolve conflicts and problems in your family so that no one loses and problems stay solved.
- A method for troubleshooting family problems and knowing which skills to use to solve them.
How the P.E.T. Class Works
This intensive, proven program is only taught by instructors certified by Gordon Training International. The P.E.T. class consists of brief lectures, demonstrations, workbook exercises, role-playing, lots and lots of coaching, some homework and small group discussion.
Each class participant will receive a set of P.E.T. materials which includes the 30th anniversary edition of the P.E.T. book, a P.E.T. Workbook, a Participant Certificate, a copy of Dr. Gordon’s Credo and free subscription to GTI’s, opt-in, monthly e-newsletter, “The P.E.T. Connection”. This program is 24 hours total and the schedule depends on the individual P.E.T. Instructor. We can put you in touch with an instructor near you–please contact us. Click here to view the P.E.T. Class/Online Book Club Calendar.
How the Online P.E.T. Book Club Works
Since most P.E.T. classes are on hold due to COVID-19, we developed book clubs to be held online. These are led by certified instructors and dates and times are listed on the calendar. The length of each book club meeting varies from instructor to instructor, hence the number of meetings will vary. There are 16 chapters in the book and each chapter has questions that will be posed by the instructor to the group. Members don’t need to read the entire book before the club starts–chapters are assigned before each meeting. The discussions will be about the concepts and ideas found in the book. This is not an online P.E.T. class but a deep dive into the P.E.T. methods and philosophy. The learning of the P.E.T. skills takes place in the class, which we hope can be scheduled soon!
Please view the calendar to find dates and times that work for you and you can contact the instructor directly to enroll or to ask questions. You can also contact us with questions you have or if you’d like to set up a private book club with a P.E.T. Master Facilitator: email@example.com or 800.628.1197. P.E.T. Online Book Club Calendar
Click here to view a list and contact information of P.E.T. Instructors in the USA and Canada. If you’re interested in contacting P.E.T. Instructors in other countries besides USA and Canada, please visit this page to contact our International P.E.T. Representatives.
Click here to view our monthly parenting blog, “The P.E.T. Connection.”
For more information, or if you’d like to sign up for our monthly e-newsletter “The P.E.T. Connection”, please contact us at: