Dr. Thomas Gordon’s, Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) class is the pioneering program that has helped millions of parents around the world. We have classes offered by certified P.E.T. Instructors throughout the United States and in many different countries. If you’ve heard of I-Messages and Communication Roadblocks (both created by Dr. Gordon), or Active Listening (created by Dr. Carl Rogers), it’s because of P.E.T.
There are many different parenting programs out there in the world. How do you decide which one is right for you? Here is a comparison of the most well-known programs out there–we hope you find it helpful. Perhaps P.E.T. is the right one for you. Please read on to learn more about what the program is all about. And you can also check out some videos from Dr. Gordon himself, P.E.T. Instructors and clients on our parenting channel on youtube.
Whether you’re the parent of a toddler or a teenager, you know that parenting can be challenging–even overwhelming at times. Unfortunately, children don’t come with an instruction manual. And, being a parent doesn’t always mean that you automatically or instinctively know what to do.
Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) offers proven communication skills that really work. When they use these skills, parents are amazed with the dramatic improvement both in their families and in all their relationships. This program was created by award-winning psychologist and three-time Nobel Peace Prize Nominee, Dr. Thomas Gordon in 1962.
You, too, can learn these communication and conflict resolution skills through Dr. Gordon’s P.E.T. program, taught by a certified P.E.T. Instructor. After participation in the P.E.T. course, it is expected that parents will have the ability to:
1. Determine who “owns the problem” in a given situation.
2. Identify the 12 Roadblocks to Communication.
3. Distinguish between Roadblocks and Active Listening.
4. Avoid the Roadblocks that cause most helping attempts to fail.
5. Recognize when their child needs their help as a skilled listener.
6. Use silence, acknowledgments and door-openers to help their child with a problem.
7. Active Listen to hear their child’s feelings.
8. Active Listen to clarify information.
9. Distinguish between Acceptable and Unacceptable Behavior.
10. Determine what to do when a child’s behavior is interfering with the parent’s meeting their needs.
11. Develop a three-part Confrontive I-Message.
12. Confront their child’s unacceptable behavior with an I-Message.
13. Shift gears between I-Messages and Active Listening when appropriate.
14. Acknowledge others’ efforts with Appreciative I-Messages.
15. Prevent problems and conflicts using Preventive I-Messages.
16. Recognize conflict situations.
17. Distinguish between Conflicts-of-Needs and Values Collisions.
18. Avoid the use of Method I.
19. Avoid the use of Method II.
20. Set the stage for Method III Conflict Resolution.
21. Use Method III to resolve a conflict between the parent and child.
22. Use Method III to mediate a conflict between others.
23. Handle Values Collisions.
How You and Your Family Will Benefit
- Your children will feel free to discuss their problems and concerns with you instead of withdrawing.
- They will learn self-discipline, self-control and an inner sense of personal responsibility.
- You will learn how to work with each other instead of against each other.
- You’ll experience fewer angry outbursts and more problem-solving.
- Everyone can participate in rule-setting so all will feel motivated to comply with the rules.
- Fewer power struggles–less tension, less resentment, more fun, more peace, more love.
What You Will Learn
- How to talk to your children so that they will listen to you.
- How to listen to your children so they feel genuinely understood.
- How to resolve conflicts and problems in your family so that no one loses and problems stay solved.
- A method for troubleshooting family problems and knowing which skills to use to solve them.
How the Program Works
This intensive, proven program is only taught by instructors certified by Gordon Training International. The P.E.T. class consists of brief lectures, demonstrations, workbook exercises, role-playing, lots and lots of coaching, some homework and small group discussion.
Each class participant will receive a set of P.E.T. materials which includes the 30th anniversary edition of the P.E.T. book, a P.E.T. Workbook, a Participant Certificate and a copy of Dr. Gordon’s Credo. This program is 24 hours total and the schedule depends on the individual P.E.T. Instructor. We can put you in touch with an instructor near you–please contact us.
Click here to view the P.E.T. Class Calendar.
Click here to view a list and contact information of P.E.T. Instructors in the USA and Canada. If you’re interested in contacting P.E.T. Instructors in other countries besides USA and Canada, please visit this page to contact our International P.E.T. Representatives.
Click here to view the P.E.T. blog – We post tips and stories from P.E.T. Instructors and International Representatives, graduates as well as writings from Thomas Gordon (creator of P.E.T.) and members of our staff.
Hear what Peggy has to say about her rewarding experience teaching P.E.T.!
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