I’ve worked for many managers and alongside many different people anointed into leadership positions without any training on how to motivate people, build strong work teams or on how to resolve problems that impede production. It wasn’t until I took my course in L.E.T. several years ago that I realized how damaging some communications can be between managers and their employees.
Below is a list of statements that roadblock communications which are indicative of autocratic micromanagers who give misguided advice, warn, lay down laws and put employees back in their places. As you read through this list, make note of how high your blood pressure elevates for each. And then ask yourself if you’ve used any on your employees or colleagues. Finally, ask yourself if there may be a better way to communicate. That is precisely where leadership training makes the biggest difference between effective managers and those who can’t seem to hold on to good people.
Please do not hesitate to add some of your favorites.
1) If I were you, I would…
2) What you need to do is…
3) You’re wrong.
4) No, you made a mistake.
5) I don’t expect you to know any better.
6) It’s not your fault – you didn’t know.
7) Be quiet and let me finish.
8) Wouldn’t it have made more sense if you…
9) Why did you do it that way?
10) Just do it.
11) I don’t want to argue with you about this.
12) This is not up for discussion.
13) What did I tell you?
14) You need to…
15) You shouldn’t have done it that way.
16) Why don’t you do what I do?
17) That’s not what I told you to do.
18) Period.
19) Case closed.
20) I need to be able to control those decisions.
21) You’re not thinking.
22) I told you this would happen.
23) You need to earn the right to do that.
24) You don’t know what you’re talking about.
25) Follow me.
26) Siddown. (sit down)
27) Come here.
28) Take notes on this.
29) Make sure you let me see everything before it goes out.
30) What you did makes no sense.
31) Just figure it out.
32) You’re getting me angry.
33) Let’s see what Tom thinks about this first.
34) Sorry, I gotta pull rank on this and do it my way.
35) This is not a democracy.
36) Don’t tell me about the pain – just show me the baby.
37) What I need you to do is…
38) You don’t need to know that.
39) Don’t challenge me on this.
40) All you need to know is that you’re getting paid.
It’s interesting to note that managers who speak this way to their employees would never tolerate being spoken to in a similar tongue, yet believe such forcefulness is an effective way to get things done. Yet quite the opposite is true. The quality of leadership is directly correlated to the success of any company, organization or group. And 95% of leadership is in communication.