You live most of your life in groups—when you work, when you worship, when you play, when you learn. And it seems all groups do need leaders, for better or for worse.
But leaders can make or break a group, right? Maybe that leader is you or maybe you work for, or with someone, who you feel is not, how shall I put it—not really a “people person”. (Yes, that’s a GLOP.)
The leaders’ attitudes and behavior will influence the team’s performance—and also their contributions, ideas, energy, level of engagement, as everyone knows from personal experience with teachers, administrators, supervisors, committee chairpersons, coaches, managers, faith leaders, and elected officials.
Most people at one time or another are thrust into a position of leading a group—when they have little or no skills to lead, inspire, coach and so on.
You know that scenario, right? They promote the person that is great technically but can’t lead their way out of a paper bag.
Most people become parents, for example, a leadership position in relation to their children. The teacher, too, is a leader of his classroom of students. Each person is a leader who gets chosen to direct a committee or task-group, who is elected president of a volunteer organization, who assumes responsibility as a scout leader or camp director.
Of the countless people who take on these leadership roles:
• How many find it a truly rewarding and fulfilling job?
• How many can honestly say their killin’ it as a new leader?
• How many face resistance, push-back, malicious obedience, hostility, silence or the cold shoulder?
• How many end up saying, “I wish I could’ve kept my old job—I don’t think being a manager is in my wheelhouse.”
If being a leader turns out to be a totally frustrating experience, it is almost always because of the leader’s own ineffectiveness.
And considering that few people ever get any kind of specific training in HOW to lead/manage/coach, it’s pretty easy to understand why being a leader is so often difficult, deflating, draining, and disappointing.
Research has shown that one of the primary reasons leaders fail is that they are promoted into positions that make it necessary to work closely with others. And how many of us learn at an early age how to work together or problem-solve to meet both parties’ needs, listen with empathy, confront with respect, and so on?
Being untrained in the essential skills for building good relationships and group-centered teams, they are unable to tap into the creativity of team members. They fail because they do not know how to build collaborative, respectful and trusting relationships.
And that is why learning the communication and conflict resolution skills is essential for anyone who is in a position of influence at their organization or more simply put, needs to have better people skills. Period.