There are four basic areas of problem ownership in your Behavior Window:
- Other Owns a Problem
- No Problem Area
- I Own a Problem
- We Own a Problem
When the Other Person “Owns” a Problem, their needs are not being met; they are experiencing troubled feelings. It’s their problem — they “own” it. You may choose to help the other person, but you do not “own” the other’s problem.
The No Problem Area is basically just that — times when your needs are being met and you are not having problems in your relationships. Everyone is OK.
In the I Own a Problem Area, your needs are not being met; you are feeling upset. You want to help yourself get your own needs met, to resolve your problem on your own or with the help of others. At these times, you are not feeling accepting.
When We Own a Problem, there’s a conflict in your relationship with a friend or other person. Both of you have unmet needs. Neither of you is feeling accepting.
The goal of the Gordon Model is to help you keep your life and relationships in the No Problem Area as much as possible. In P.E.T., you learn skills to achieve this goal.
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