Some Useful Tips When You’re Struggling with Active Listening

relationships active listening how toWhen Active Listening bogs down or is rejected by the speaker, often one or more of the following mistakes has been made.

The following eight faults result from the listener’s failing to stay in touch with the speaker’s feelings or the inability to keep the listener’s own feelings out of the listening process.
EXAMPLE:

Speaker: “Okay, you decide then. I give up.”

LISTENING FAULTS

Overlistening

1. Overshooting: Exaggerating the feeling being expressed.
“You don’t want to work with me anymore.”
2. Adding: Generalizing or expanding what the speaker is saying.
“You’re thinking of quitting.”
3. Rushing: Anticipating what the speaker will say next.
“You’ve probably had it with this whole project.”
4. Analyzing: Interpreting speaker’s motives.
“Maybe you’re upset because you didn’t get the overtime you wanted.”

Underlistening

5.Undershooting: Minimizing the feelings the speaker expressed.
“You’re upset.”
6. Omitting: Reducing or skipping the important facts expressed by the speaker.
“You want me to do it.”
7. Lagging: Backtracking or failing to keep pace with the speaker.
“You were saying earlier that you’re having a bad day.”
8. Parroting: Repeating back nearly word-for-word what the speaker said.
“You want me to decide then. You give up.”

Sooooo….what would YOUR Active Listening response be?  Send it to me for feedback-and I will send you a little something as a “thank you” for sharing.

Thank you!

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