So yes, it’s that time of year…. the holidays are coming! In addition to feelings of anticipation, excitement and joy, many of us also have feelings of fear, stress, sadness. I think it’s a mixed bag for a lot of us.
For most of my life during this time, specifically I am referring to Thanksgiving, my Pop “made” everyone at the table say a little something. So JUST as we were all about to sink our teeth into some tasty turkey, he’d say, “Why don’t we all take turns sharing what we’re most thankful for this year!”
“Oh geez…really? Now?”, I’d think to myself. Sigh.
So he’d be the one to start since most of us were a little quiet….and he’d say the most amazing things. Specific. Loving. Direct. When I was younger, I didn’t really “get it” but as time passed, I realized he was sending us Appreciative I-Messages. Not praising me like, “Great help today with our guests today, Michelle” but “When you made special, extra trips to the store to get things we needed for our guests, which saved me a lot of time, I just love that and it made me feel good, and want to tell you that…..”
Granted, he was very self-disclosing and that was a good model for all of us. Think about whether you could be that kind of model for your family and friends during Thanksgiving-it doesn’t necessarily need to be at the dinner table. It could be any time during the weekend when everyone is together.
Take some time to really think about the people in your family–those people who will be sitting with you at the table or spending time with you. Think about something specific that you truly appreciate about them and share that with them. I’ll bet there are many times you might think it, but how often do you-do we as a people-take a minute and share that information-that powerful feedback-with the people in our lives?
And how much more powerful it is to hear the specifics of how what I did, made you feel and how that helped you than, “Hey, thanks…great job!”?
Food for thought. Yes, pun intended.
(And for those work situations, here’s how to provide feedback that I think you might find helpful indeed!)
I wish you a peaceful holiday season, filled with appreciation.