There are days when I feel for people who haven’t had the–how shall I say this?--diversity of employment that I have. I’ve had twelve employers in eighteen years (not counting freelance clients). I’ve been a wedding gift registrar (yes, Virginia, they used to pay people to walk around the china department with young engaged couples!), a door-to-door political fundraiser, a college instructor, a secretary, a book editor, an instructional designer, an account manager, and a consultant. I’ve got a bag of tricks THIS BIG, and I’m not afraid to use them.
If there’s anything I’ve learned in the (mumblety-five) years since I’ve started working, it’s that whatever job I’m doing today, the need for it is eventually going to go away. Life itself is a continual exercise in loss and replacement…or, if you will, change.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, I know some people who have done exactly the same job in exactly the same way for exactly the same department in exactly the same company for 20, 30, 40 years. I met two of them around the table at a Job Re-Homing support group last week.
“Cynthia” isn’t going to make it through the program unless somebody can help her work through grief at her job’s elimination. She’s been a medical practitioner for “39 years, seven months, thirteen days, and six minutes, not that I’m counting,” she announced as she slumped into her seat, with a scowl and a hiss.
My heart went out to her, because I get it. Her behaviors told me she was in pain. What I really wanted to do at that moment was to take her aside into a private room and do some quality Active Listening with her, because she just plain wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be thinking constructively about her next steps. She was still angry and hurt and troubled by her layoff, and as I learned in leadership training, somebody in an elevated negative emotional state isn’t going to be capable of effective problem-solving.
I couldn’t take her aside and listen to her, though. Because I wasn’t in the support group as a facilitator. I was there as a…client.
Have you ever noticed that the word “Lead” and the word “Deal” are made up of exactly the same four letters? An accident of language, I’m sure, and yet I think the most important job a leader has is to help her team to deal with change. Organizational change, economic change, product or service line change, operational change…work and life themselves are in many ways just a long series of change. Good leaders can help people like Cynthia to work through the high emotions triggered by change and get to a place where they can contribute to making the most of change.
When “Ruby” was told a few weeks ago that her position, too, was being eliminated in the same round of budget-trimming, she (like me) had the blessing of prior experience. She’s been laid off before. She comes to the Job Re-Homing sessions neatly dressed, all made up, smiling, with notes and books and suggestions for others around the table. She’s worked through the high emotions and is ready to work on solutions. She’s a dealer. Which also makes her, in the group, a leader.
As I look around that table at people whose entire paradigm of working life has shifted, I’m grateful that we’ve all been offered the structured support of the group. I sincerely hope that in the coming weeks, we can help Cynthia deal with the end of the first phase of her working life and lead her to identify what it is she wants to do next. It’s something we’ll all probably have to do a few more times as the world around us changes…as America changes…as the global economy and balance of trade changes.
I think we may be in for a bumpy ride, but leadership training certainly taught me where to look for the seat belt.