A Credo for Your Relationships with Others

By Linda Adams, President of GTI

We give you “A Credo for My Relationships with Others” which he wrote in 1964 and which is an integral part of all of our workshops.  Dr. Gordon often referred to it as the blueprint for healthy relationships.leadership relationships communication

August 26th, 2002 was the day of Dr. Gordon’s passing.  We continue his work (our work) in teaching the communication model he created in 1962 with his P.E.T. program. (Though he began to formally offer many of the skills through his consulting back in 1955 with what we now know as L.E.T.)

It is very gratifying for me personally to develop relationships with representatives in countries where the Gordon Model is not yet available. That’s because I believe that no matter what our religious beliefs or what political system we live under, people in every culture have the same basic needs to be understood and accepted, to express themselves and let others know who they are, to resolve their conflicts without losing and ultimately, to strive to become what they are capable of being.

A Credo for My Relationships with Others

You and I are in a relationship which I value and want to keep. Yet each of us is a separate person with our own unique values and needs and the right to meet those needs.

So that we will better know and understand what each of us values and needs, let us always be open and honest in our communication.

When you are having problems meeting your needs, I will listen with genuine acceptance and understanding so as to facilitate your finding your own solutions instead of depending on mine. And I want you to be a listener for me when I need to find solutions to my problems.

At those times when your behavior interferes with what I must do to get my own needs met, I will tell you openly and honestly how your behavior affects me, trusting that you respect my needs and feelings enough to try to change the behavior that is unacceptable to me. Also, when some behavior of mine is unacceptable to you, I hope you will tell me openly and honestly so I can try to change my behavior.

And when we experience conflicts in our relationship, let us agree to resolve each conflict without either of us resorting to the use of power to win at the expense of the other’s losing. I respect your needs, but I also must respect my own. So let us always strive to search for a solution that will be acceptable to both of us. Your needs will be met, and so will mine—neither will lose, both will win.

In this way, you can continue to develop as a person through satisfying your needs, and so can I. Thus, ours can be a healthy relationship in which both of us can strive to become what we are capable of being. And we can continue to relate to each other with mutual respect, love and peace.

Dr. Thomas Gordon

Copyright 1964, 1978 Gordon Training International