The Good, The Bad and The Ugly – Problems of All Shapes and Sizes
Some Decisions and Problems are Easier to Resolve than Others
Many decisions in the ‘No Problem Area” and smaller problems in the “Both Own Problem Area” can be easily resolved using Method III once family members/others have knowledge and trust in the Six Steps.
In all families and relationships there are also larger, more difficult problems that need to be addressed. In these conflicts, using Method III can be more difficult.
Tough Problems may call for Tough Measures
Using the P.E.T. skills and Method III does not mean you are always calm and quiet – it’s not Method II. In rare situations, when the other person is extremely resistant to Method III or is fixed on getting his/her solutions instead of meeting needs, you may have to be ‘Militantly Method III’.
In these rare situations you may need to get the message across very strongly that you refuse to lose and that you refuse to make the other lose. That you are determined to find a solution that meets both your needs because the reality is that you live (or work) together. And, in most cases, you care about the other person and your relationship.
What to Do if Method III Does Not Work
Success with Method III increases as you get more experienced using your P.E.T. skills – you become more ‘Unconsciously Skilled’. Increased use of Active Listening and I-Messages often also mean that fewer ‘Both Own’ problems even develop.
On page 102 in the P.E.T. Participant Workbook you will find information about what to do when your Method III efforts don’t work.