Monthly Archives: April 2012
by Thomas Gordon, Ph.D.
Originally Published in Human Relations Training News, National Training Laboratory, 1961, Vol. 4, No. 4.
We hear and read much about the importance of effective communication but little about its risks. Social scientists tell us that effective communication is a characteristic of individuals who are “psychologically healthy,” of groups that function effectively, and of organizations that prosper and survive.
First, consider the importance of communication to the individual. People who are psychologically healthy are ones who are “in touch with themselves.” They are aware of their feelings, their attitudes, their values, and their beliefs. They are more in communication with themselves than are the psychologically unhealthy people. The unhealthy who enter individual therapy to become more fully-functioning go through a process of learning to communicate with themselves. They gradually explore deeper and deeper into their feelings and attitudes, discovering new ones, finding feelings that conflict or feelings previously denied. Also, after completing successful psychotherapy, people report that having learned to “communicate better with themselves” they can now better communicate their real feelings and attitudes to others. Psychological health, for the individual, means the ability to “talk clearly with oneself.”
Blog Post by Victoria Benodi
So here’s the thing.
I was feeling overwhelmed the other day, I’m planning a wedding, I’m covering for another person at work while she’s on vacation, and I’m expecting a slew of out of town friends and family. And I had promised myself I’d write a blog entry, part of my personal growth plan that came about after the leadership training I’d done last year. But like I said, I was overwhelmed, almost to the point of being catatonic. And definitely to the point of being flat-out cranky.
Those of you who know me or who’ve read my blogs know that I use my long commute to and from work to muddle through things. This was one of those times. I needed to figure out why I was procrastinating on writing this particular blog entry. Yes, I was planning a three-ring circus wedding with dancing Chihuahuas (not really, but it feels like that at times!); yes, I was managing all those family dynamics that bubble to the top when there are weddings; yes, I was working double-time at the office. But it was all doable. What wasn’t doable was blogging.
Blog Post by Scott Seroka
I recently read what I believe to be a very insightful article on leadership entitled, “Managers and Leaders” (Are they different?) by Abraham Zaleznik, featured in Harvard Business Review in 1977. Although written thirty-five years prior, I believe the fundamental ingredients of leadership are as relevant today as they were in the past, and in my opinion, will be as relevant thirty-five years from now.
For the purpose of this blog, I took a sliver from the article I found to be most intriguing on what it takes to be a manager. Although Zaleznik did not expound on each of the seven characteristics, I will attempt, as a life-long student of leadership and emotional intelligence (E.Q.), to define them on my own. I welcome both your input and debate.
Blog Post by Scott Seroka
Many motivational speakers and sales trainers pull the phrase “Act as if” out of their holsters when giving people self-improvement advice on how to do things such as boost confidence, win interviews, speak in public or sign new customers. And it works. For instance, if you are a struggling salesperson and “act as if” you are the master of winning new business, your attitude changes, you’ll exude more confidence and you’ll be more relaxed when asking for the order.
This same principle applies to those who wish to become great leaders. If you wish to be a great leader, you’ll not only need to think like one, you’ll also need to act as if you are already a great leader. Even if you don’t have a leadership title, you’ll need to demonstrate strong leadership skills if you want to advance in your career.
It’s 2012 and we’re excited to celebrate 50 amazing years that Gordon Training International has been offering the Gordon Model around the world to parents, leaders, teachers, clergy, students, and individuals.
We decided that this event was definitely worthy of creating a timeline. So, after digging (literally!) through 50 years of newspaper articles, photos, magazines, and newsletters, we have created a detailed look back through the history of GTI and we added world events that were occurring at the same time. We hope you like it!
Click here to view the full timeline and enjoy!
To be an effective leader, it is crucially important to be a good listener. To be a good listener, I mean a really good listener, there are three conditions that must be met according to Dr. Thomas Gordon. They are: acceptance, empathy, and genuineness. Dr. Gordon studied psychology with Carl Rogers, one of the most famous psychologists of all time. Rogers talked about unconditional positive regard, empathy, and congruence and Tom Gordon applied those concepts to non-therapeutic situations that were practical for parents, teachers, and managers.
In honor of this year, the 50th anniversary of P.E.T., we’re holding a very special P.E.T. Instructor Training Workshop. This workshop will equip you with everything you’ll need to become a successful, certified instructor. Special events will include a cocktail hour and a meet-and-greet with Gordon Training International’s President, Linda Adams. This workshop is suited for those who have an existing client base and/or those who work with family and child agencies.
Tuition for this workshop is $1,795 and includes the P.E.T. Instructor Kit. We offer this type of public certification workshop once every five years, so don’t miss this opportunity!
For more information, email us at email@example.com.
2009 PET ITW in San Diego
We’re very proud to mark this significant milestone and celebrate this achievement by hosting a once-in-a-lifetime L.E.T. event. We invite you to attend this forum that is exclusively for L.E.T. Trainers and Licensees from all over the U.S. and around the world. And when I say “once-in-a-lifetime”, we really mean that.
When? Where? October 24-26, 2012 in beautiful San Diego. What? A highly interactive learning, networking, sharpening your L.E.T. Trainer skills in a two-day forum, as well as cocktail reception and dinner cruise! Cost? $395 per trainer – bring your spouse/partner for social events for $120. Don’t miss this fabulous event!
Email us for more info: firstname.lastname@example.org
Michelle Adams is Vice President of Gordon Training International where she has worked for 22 years. Her chief role is being program manager of L.E.T., Conflict Resolution Workshop and Synergistic Selling in the USA and abroad. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Liberal Studies for Elementary Education. She writes a monthly piece for Gordon Model graduates called The Graduate Connection. She loves bad puns, cats, anything purple and thinks Active Listening is the best thing on the planet.
Blog Post by Michelle Adams
Okay, so yes, I am the VP in this story and our President, Linda and I, well we had a conflict and it didn’t start out well at all. Imagine what not to do a la L.E.T. and that’s what we did. Yup.
Now, let me first start off by saying there is a concept we teach in all of the Gordon Model programs, called Emotional Flooding and we were knee deep in “water”. It’s that point when you are SO upset, you’re overwhelmed, you cannot listen, you feel almost paralyzed by emotion – think you get the idea.
In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a beautiful young man who was admired and desired by all, especially himself. In fact, he was so beguiled by his own reflection in the water that he died of longing and turned into a flower. The myth has become a metaphor for the type of personality that is overly enamored with oneself, not to be confused with normal, healthy self-esteem or confidence. Those are good things. But, as is often the case, too much of a good thing can turn bad.
In its extreme, narcissism is a serious personality disorder like psychopathy. “In 1984, psychologist Robert Emmons posed the original narcissistic paradox: He noted that narcissists simultaneously devalue others even as they need others’ admiration. … It appears that narcissists seek out people who maintain their high positive self-image, at the same time intentionally avoiding and putting down people who may give them a harsh dose of realism.” Gosh, does this sound like some leaders that you know?